i want to be a psychologist

a clinical one. went over to my grandmas place just now she's hallucunating again.

she takes medicine for her parkinsons but then i bet the doc gave her dopamine which is suppose to cure her but then excess dopamine leads to increased mind activity hence hallucinations and probably schizo. schizo is hallucination like in a beautiful mind- the movie. not necessary split personality- i just re-read my notes cos i was a little confused cos its such ingrained common knowledg tht schizo is split p. look at ch8 9pm.

i feel very sad that a strong healthy woman like my grandma has reduced by mind to her current state. it affects her i know, she keeps seeing things n having ppl tell her they r not there makes her angry. its hard for us to realise that her reality is not in fact our reality. its shocking and mind boggling. moreover she speaks hokkien n shes very stubborn. wat she needs is a psychologist. don doctors or neurologists here consult psychologists abt wat medicine and wat other issues the family n patient has to deal with? my mom keeps telling me its because of her op and the anaesthetic. is that wat the doc told her? but my mom trusts me but its so hard to find a psychologist that deals with these. its not common like going to your general practitioner. they are so under rated. healing a person of parkinsons does not guarantee patient n family well-being cos wat r the resultant side effects? its so hard to deal with these kind of things. esp my mom she knows nuts abt wat shes handling here. and nobody knows!

and then being helpless and desperate leads her to look for traditional ways of seeking help. like fortune telling and chinese myths of placing red dates n rice at her bed side. does knowing the future tell u anyhting? does knowing sth would happen help? is it tru that wen u see dead people ur life is cming to an end? is it all true? is my grandma hallucinating or is she really seeing? mom said the same thing happened w ah gong. he said he saw dead family n frens n he wanted to go back to his homeland-china. now my grandma is doing the exact. im scared. i dunno. life sux- i give up trying to think. im gonna watch some tv

i cant. i wish i can do more. i wish sg would have a better psycho system. psychologists for everything mind, body, education. wen families need to handle a patient w schizo, cancer, court case, anorexia watever can they look for a psychologist specializong in that area? not for my own career but just for the emotional support n well-being of the society. psychological health is so impt. psychologists are so impt. yet they r so under rated in asian countries. well i hope i would become a good one and not do something else.

ok ikm gonna watch more tv

not feelin too good

dunno y jus do. maybe i know but anw.

i jus peed n didnt wash my hands. jan is gross ugh

oh i dreamt that my grandma died last night n in my dream i was in a desperate state to send her to the hosp while driving f recklessly n trying to contact my parents-overseas- for free. wierd

im feeling wierd.b

feelin good

today is a shiok day. i hope.

well i was supposed to go to work wen my dad called to bring jereme to the hosp for a check. he just has a stiff neck n for that we had to see an orthopedic n miss sch for a day. the paranoia f my mom. i tell u shes gettin senile last time wen i had a headache/tummyache watever i still diedie have to go school. now stiff neck oso can get mc.

anyway so we were at mount e and then "soon bian" check jereme's kidneys since he had some prob w them wen he was young. so voila 2 something still at the hosp (we were there since 10 plus). so we were hungry n wen to makan at paragon n happily janice missed work for the day as i had to send jereme home at abt 3! yea! haha i kinda like working for my parents.

but then i feel bad cos today this aunty, a colleague bought rojak specially for me! haha so sweet right but i didnt go work so i feel damn bad. but it wasnt on purpose so o well. lifes good so far. i have sweet aunty colleagues to buy me food (but the disad is that theres no one worth looking at sigh sigh sigh).

haha and we r going to walawala tonight! its this pub at holland v kat supposed to be nice chill out place. well im goin w wai chu n syl. i hope this night turns out good cos the last time the trio (wai, chu n jan) wen out there were unpleasantries exchanged and alot of tension but alls well now im glad. i love em!

and i also miss my overseas frens!! i so hav to meet up w dev for my free brownie. chatted to sarah some nights ago, missing her n lianne! and of cos katarina dearest. hopefully ill get to meet eunice n liling too! cannot take sg frens for granted right :) we're in the same cty!! ok jan has to plan more for everybody!!

lala shiok to be relaxing at home before belly dancing. haha we didnt buy the scarfs i scared paisay. haha we were all supposed to buy it i think, well at least every body did but then it costs 50 blardy bucks can! wai n i don print money. so we sneaked off quietly that day haha i jus hope we r not too obvious -haha yea right the only ones without scarves-

ok gotta get ready. till the next time bye folks!- sorry for the cheesiness.

hey im back! haha i guess it's been quite a WHILE SINCE I UPDATED. been tired for the past 11 days doing the suntec heritage exhibition stint w wai. today is our last n i feel relieved yet sad. well its over. fun n all made some frens (haha the un-cute ones that wai thinks r so cute!!) o well welcome to her world.

em i feel so unfamiliar w bloggin now. haha just typing abt wat i did. which will absolutley bore everyone but o well. i need to blog abt thailand (but i got a feeling im so lazy that wen lynn does her entry on the trip ill just link it to hers. haha)

em wat else. i love singapore. our heritage is way cool. eh i miss kat. em wat else im meeting up with all my frens which is cool. some old frens i found from no where haha like lawrence n syl. nice catchinh ups. and now its peishan!! hehe im chatting to her right now.

oh yea i wanna learn indian dance n salsa too. quite soon. and did i tell u wai n i r belly dancing now just that i kinda missed 2 out of 6 lessons. haha wat the hell im comin for the next one!!

eh im sorry to be boring but i guess thats abt it. blehh

o god

im suffocating in my own fart. in my moms office. yes its late i shld be home or rather my fren is waiting for me. tamade but then the system in my moms office is taking fucking forever to print some documents. ugh. and its damn freakin problematic. its like i have to log in n out and wait damn damn long. like 15 min for the shit comp to tell me that an error has occured. wtf. im never goin home at this rate. and it keeps hanging. its not my inefficiency but the comps. bloddy hell. im quite pissed. not cos i have to ot. i dun mind cos i came late anyw but not wen my fren is waiting to meet! this always happens man! wen i have no appt. i get little work n i can go home early for like the last 2 days. then wen im meeting a fren shit happens.

im glad tmr im taking a break from the office job to be at suntec standing. at least theres wai. at least we can bitch abt sth. but i dun have no black covered shoes!!!! ok im goin to check on the other freakin comp. greeat its still doin watever fuck its doing.

im rambling im sorry but i jus have to waste some time. i believe another 1h maybe to print 2 more doc? o god please help me. boy can u tell im desperate. i farted again. think its cos i drank too much packeted hot drinks. u know the kind u have in offices. i drank like 3 cups today n i kinda knew i was intolerant to the creamers they put in those packets. so watch out for those farts that i enjoy. wheee

im thinking of wat else i can say to waste some more time. o u know wat i haven gotten my exam results. im supposed to get it on 30th june or 2-3 days after that but no my lazy arse tutor hasnt sent my results to me. n dun ask me y i cant get it online, ask the blardy it-not-savvy school of psychology. they are so old n filled w tradition not only in the subject, the building but also the it system. fuck

yea one doc down one more to go. dammit. anyw im so bored n jus waiting for time to pass now that if i have all the pics n stuff that i have to put on the web id do it right here n now. but i don waha so till next time.

wat else do i have to update. em. bangkok trip. was great really shoppin so cheap. all 199 ( pronounced one nine nineeee- and the pitch or watever jus keeps going up. ill demonstrate next time) life sux. i cant believe im stuck here on the day i decide to have a date. omg. and i dun wanna leave like some might say its ok since ikm like the boss' daughter but its not! its even wprse. i cant! simply becaouse im the boss' daughter. tamade. i alr feel bad that im not coming in the rest of the week and next week ill come in only after 3 due to the suntec stint. but io well im glad for the break. and whos complaining wen money is earned rite??

janice is back from thailand. she enjoyed herself. now shes working for her mummy and soon to start on a part time stint at suntec. tiring is life but loving it.

UNCANNY CASHEW! You scored 59% SWEET, 77% CHUNKY, and 66% UNIQUE!

sweet cream base with caramel-coated cashew pieces & swirls of caramel What a nutty person you are...with an ice cream flavor to match! But there's more to you than just being crazy and 'out there'...you have a good heart and you can be creative when the mood strikes. You could stand to calm down a bit, but overall, you're a good person to have around.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 4% on SWEET You scored higher than 76% on CHUNKY You scored higher than 58% on UNIQUE

Link: The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor Test written by weered1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

i dun like the flavour. my love is always choc fudge brownie- uk style!

sunday

i had a reaaally nice early sunday morn today. lovely!

mom came back fm shanghai so i wen to pick her
ate a large plate of beehoon before falling asleep immediately
woke up at 920 to get to church
slept thru half of the sermon but it was great meeting up w ppl
wen to have unch n finally had my first hokkien mee since i was back (the previous post wen i had hokkien mee craving, i had laksa w extra extra "ha(r)m" shiokamAMA
then i had a huge cup of sour plum juice too!! seebei nice! i love absolutely adore the ice cold drink on a hot sun afternoon.

then i met athe for tea at swensens. chatted n caught up w each other. its been so so long! had waffles dream. hmm..

then it was doin grocery shoppin before making my way to the "old" hse- my ex house where my grandma now lives w a maid- to drop off some groceries. i miss that hse tho its old n freaky it housed some of the biggest events of my life considering i lived there for the most part of my life till now. n im jus worried abt my grandma. she has parkinsons disease i think. where ur memory starts to deteriote and u shake sometimes. shes been hallucinating seeing ghosts n thinking that they wanna murder her. its jus so sad to see her being unable to sleep her eyes darting abt n me n the maid having the sayang n try to bring her to a fitful sleep. damn sad. i dun wanna be old. my other grandma oso is facing probs. wats it w getting old? i hate so much emo i wanted to blog just niow. nw im too tired. im just sad la a bit n i feel my moms stressed family is a hard thing to deal with. i realised im older i view hings w an adults perspective

tanya, i will get down to taking pics of the pup its 6 mths now but its huge! n freaky i hardly dare to play w him anymore. only jereme can. will post those pics later wen im back

o yea its bangkok tmr!! yea..

photos r up

tho they r not commented on but o well it took me ages n jeremes being a bitch nagging me for the damn comp! wai i need photos! n excuse the cam whores/wars (DREY & LYNN- haha) ok till more photos

jan is happy

cos today she met up w yuchu (finally i know- don rub it in chu) and wai at this nice new place at sin ming (haha its cool la!) tho over-priced la but if u sit loong enuff can get money back!! damn shiok man having the triumvirate meet up n jus catch up n eat n bitch n laugh n feel tog omg i liiiikkkkkkeeeeeee it :) we plan to make fridays our day out since yuchu's working class now! haha no cam today so no pics not that ill put any up. sorry la lazy maybe wen im back in uk haha

oso im happy cos jereme n i wen swimming! i love these kinda of outings w my bro it makes me feel bonded :) i likeee too

oso cos i finally got my haircut. its been 6 months. haha and i jus love the idea of being cuht by a ham-sum boy at toni&guy tho today i was disappointed by being snipped by a korean lady. she damn rough n kan cheong leh but overall quite nice la :) the "master" always massages the hair as if hes playing w it during a sexual intercourse. i like having my hair held in such high regard. haha maybe thats wat all those blardy expensive salons are all abt the hairstylist being in love w ur hair. i jus like that feeling man. hhaha anyw on the haircut its not exactly the funkiest, nicest flattering (tho the "master" thinks it makes me look 'prettier n less round'- i wld like to think of it as a compliment) i just like the idea of having hair that is 'styled' that has shape. haha

ok this week has been a more relaxing week overall. more time for myself due to last min cancellations w a few pppl. but i realised time alone can mean pig out sessions alone at night its bad. haha if i had to pig out id rather do it good local food (instead of chips n cup noodles or choc) n w good company.

wat else o there was the fi n mee lin outing on wed! we the cheena piaks aka three/tree hhahahha! initial d is a good cheena piak movie man ed is on! n jay chou! we were squealing in the the theatre despite the fact that i kept lao-saing that day. i control till i taboleh tahan n had to miss abt 15 min of the movie while shitting my arse off (literally) in the toilet so damn far away (PS bleah) o well it was a nice get together :)

anyw i hate my entries these days. i apologise but o well its just for me to rem later sigh i need to blog more often i wana rem the moments n not wat i did. fuckamania. haha i feel like hokkien mee, i might be getting some..